Category: Children’s Antics

No = laugh??

Who knew a child’s math would be so creative?  Mommy says “no”, baby gets the giggles because it’s just too fun being bad….   My #4 turned one last month.. … and already he’s a game boy.  Everything is a game.  He takes his socks off, mommy gets his toes, he laughs. … he grabs the phone and holds on for dear life while you are trying to make a phone call… he laughs. .. He chews my cellphone, thus it is in need of repairs, and he laughs.. in fact, he thinks it’s his because apparently all one-year-olds need cell phones these days.  He squeezes the milk out the nipple of his bottle (which is supposed to be a no-drip nipple)… he laughs (he’s been doing that trick since he was 10mths old)..  when mommy says “Drink your milk, not play”… yep, he laughs. … silly silly baby.

Yesterday, oh yesterday, how I do not miss you.  My #4 discovered the toilet.  Not that he’s potty training, but that he’s enjoying have a bowl of cold water exactly where he can reach it, with a seemingly endless water supply to test the water retention of toilet paper, and empty toilet paper rolls.  And, while he’s at it, tests how long it will take for hardwood to buckle under a puddle of toilet water (at least it was clean water.. as opposed to the half-flushed pee water that daddy leaves behind every morning).

My #3, on the other hand, doesn’t help.  He now talks in the third person, which is quite hilarious, I must admit, and has transformers and teddy bears potty training with him… in fact, the other day, bear got so excited about potty training, he managed to fall into the toilet….  at least, that is what I think my 2yo is trying to prove. … His own potty training is going well, quite frankly.  He’s 2 1/2 (have to get that extra 6mths in there) and already he takes his pull-up off when he pees, and empties his poo into the toilet.. by hand.. but has yet to remember to put a clean pull-up back on… he’s half-way there, so that’s great !  He’s ready for real big-boy underwear, now… not that I am, but he is.



But some days…  some days… #3 needs a real swift kick in the pants that would pretty much get me put in jail, so I refrain, and instead I toss something.. .. preferably soft, but last week.. it wasn’t quite such a soft little stuffie… more like a plastic square plate that apparently makes quite the interesting frisbee… as it sailed across the room… and cracked the glass cupboard door which houses those rarely used punch bowl cups (and punch bowl… which is ironic, now, isn’t it?).

And to what do I owe this display of square frisbee-thing delight?  One of my many many pet peeves: lack of cleanliness. .. Apparently, as a mom, your sole duty is to clean up after your kids, no matter what the age, and do so with a cheeky grin on your face and skip in your step.  I’m sorry, I really am, but I despise housework.  Especially when I spend hours mopping the floors (‘cuz I mop old-style, bowl of hot water + organic vinegar + cheap olive oil … for hardwood).. only to find within fifteen minutes of said floors now shiny clean…  some lovely little man decides it’s OK to leave food on the floor for me to clean two days later (because nobody notices food on the floor beneath the table?)… and we all know how much fun it is to clean food that’s been stuck to the floor for two days in which nobody bothers to pick up after themselves…

And so.. it is with a house full of men. … =)   All my pet peeves rolled out into one chaotic household. …. Don’t think that the big man on campus is all clean and tidy either… he’s just as messy as my 2yr old…  in fact, my 2yo is a mini BMOC…  which is, quite frankly, scary. … almost evil, really, how I’ve been blessed with a child who tests my patience 24hrs a day, and to which I fail miserably 98% of the time. …

Word to the wise: When you ask for something, be careful what you ask for..  I asked for help with my lack of patience… and I get a child that just pretty much reiterates the fact I have zero patience on a good day.  And he really is a good kid, he just gets bored…which is why he, just last night, decided to draw pictures on his once nice clean walls.. in black pen.. that he stole off the end table.. sometime in the 5mins it took me to see the BMOC and his friend off to a manly fishing trip…  (insert: beer, bonfires, and boating..although, not necessarily in that particular order)…  Needless to say, I wasn’t too entirely impressed… and once again.. patience was the last thing on my mind.. the first? well, a few nasty expletives that I won’t repeat here..  followed by a why would you do that.. followed by a few more expletives and bedtime. … pretty much in that order. … this morning… you can’t help but admire the ingenuity of his artwork, that is in pretty straight lines for a 2yr old, and he even tried to draw his hand… which kinda looks like a cross between a venus fly trap and … some sort of alien design…

kids… big and small… what can ya do?


Childhood Tales

My Nat is such a riot.  He is only 2 and yet, I think he is the craziest kid I’ve ever known.  Word to future parents: get the scoop on your beau BEFORE you have kids, because one will inevitably be just like him. … LOL  I thought our #2 was like his dad, but …   I was wrong.  #3 is WAY more so that I would have thought.

I could probably fill a book on #3’s antics.  He, in one 5-day period about a month ago, decided …

1) to empty the toilet… with his big brother’s jock cup

2) decided to give bear a bath. … in the toilet

3) somehow managed to sneak the cannister of baby formula off our tall center island… and empty it onto the entrance floor

This is just a typical week.  Some days I scold him somethin’ awful.. other days, I just shake my head and laugh. … I have no idea how such a little fella can be sooo sneaky.  One morning, about 6wks ago or so, my husband wakes up (this was when we still had a TV in our room) to #3 watching TV…  chowing down on a chicken bone. ..Now where did he get that chicken bone??  Well, it was one of those pre-cooked rotisserie type chickens you can buy in-store.. we had it for dinner one night, and it was left out on the counter overnight (as most food does around here)… Somehow, he managed (keep in mind, he’s just 2) to reach over the kitchen center island, grab the whole container of chicken, walk it up the stairs, by me (maybe this was in the 2mins I was changing #4s diaper?), and proceed to carry it into the bedroom… all without spilling…  You can imagine my husbands surprise when he hears the TV on.. .looks up, and sees this kid gnawing on a chicken bone and sees the other bones he’s nonchalantly tossed to the side after picking them clean. …  LOL

Such a character. … What can you do but laugh?

And #4?  OY, I think he’s going to be just like #3. … poor me, what did I do to deserve such wild children?  All I did was pray for patience….  and test my patience they do.. daily.. no, make that hourly. .. LOL … (And, for the record, I fail miserably most times) …

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